Cover

I have tried to settle my mind, but it can not stand still. One by one my thoughts ebb an grow with my breath. Burning stings behind my thoughts making me flinch. They hear silents from me and yet I can not see how they do not look closer. All they see is a cover of a book they never pick up.

Grief

There is a spot close to you heart that is connected to your emotions. Mine is in the middle of me. It is filed with hope, love, dreams, happiness, and joys. But it is also filed with pain, disappointment and grief.

For the past four years my middle has been filed with love that has been given by a good friend. This friend turned into a source of comfort, every day a message, every day a new dream.

There is an unspoken grief that comes with the passing of someone so close, one that never really goes away.

It turns all those hops to what ifs or what could have been but can never be ever again.

The pain that explodes in my middle is sharp and hard to heal. That hollow in my heart where that good friend use to feel is now empty and lost.

I'm left with letters that turn fond feelings in to grief. Left everyday hoping for a message that tells me of kindness, but instead the hope is replaced with disappointment. Left to my thoughts of memory's that have turned into pain.

perhaps one day that hollow will slowly feel again, perhaps one day it wont be grief anymore, but for now I am grief.