Inspirations... echoes of people of past.

After a while you start looking back at the people in your life and realize the people who have inspired you time and time again.

The people who showed so deeply that they cared about you.. there was no pushing them away... no way to avoid their passion of life. I love these rare beautiful people. I miss them with all my heart.

The person who shows the love they have for you... the person who despite all your faults never walks away... the person who it took death to tare them apart from you. I treasure the time I had with them.

On lonely nights such as the ones I've had of late.. these people I wish were here with me now, these people who turn my mind, my soul, my feelings into wants of conversations wants of comfort.
These nights I turn to the memory of inspirational echoes I once had. They are the ones that give me hope of one day finding someone who would inspire me once again.

Maybe one day I will love again, maybe one day I will feel respected and will respect in return, maybe one day I will deserve such a person in my life once again.

Uncertain

There are a lot of things uncertain in my life right now, a job, weather or not I can finish one of my dreams or even if I have dreams, a life of a friend, life of family, if I'll ever have a family of my own, if someone would even wish to be with me for time and all eternity, if I can secede in some point of my life, can I become the person that God sees, but I think it all boils down to I am uncertain about me. I don't always see where I fit.

Crazy or Not...

What happens when you start to enjoy talking to yourself? in the past when I have been more alone then normal I tend to talk more out loud... but what I can't figure is whether or not I'm going crazy or I am just getting use to my own mind... I am an artist.. so I know I have more crazy then maybe some... I am also the youngest makes me observant. I started talking to myself.. at the time my brother who I live with has been grumpy and honestly I don't think he even knows when I'm home anymore.. so I talk and I talk... then I realized that I really didn't mind my conversations with myself. Now maybe one day someone will tell me I'm insane or just adjusting to knowing my own mind.
I found that I don't want to be around people only because of how often trust has been broken. but that is alright for now.. after all I'm getting good at talking to the person in my head that is never there anyway.