If you will

My heart is thinking of every moment that I have brought to be humbled in the eyes of my God and my Heavily Father. I do wish I could say that I do not need to be humbled but the truth is I do not need it every day, but every moment. I need to remember why I have been put here. The more I learn, the more I know that I need help from some divine loving God that knows me so well he that he shows me where I need to grow. He also knows my heart well enough to know that I can not go through out this life with out hope. So He gave me those people in my life that never give up on me. those people who love me even though they have seen me at my worst. If you will be grateful for something just look around you at the earth, at those people that are always there for you. Yes He humbles me, but I need this blessing of these moments. A time to reflect upon those things I could change to be one good woman. to be kind, loving, forgiving, and helpful to those I come in contact with. this is my prayer. To touch one life. as so many have touch mine for the better.

Think About It

Think about it if all you did was to impact people with your actions then do you not think that we should be more aware of what we are portraying and think what our influence is doing to this earth.
If I could just see myself through someone's eyes then I think I would know for sure what I could do to better myself. This is why I am my worst critic, this is why I put myself down, for if I become too in rapture with myself then how will I lean for the better. This is the way I am, and only I can change me. I am who I am, but I mush change for the better.

Heros in my Life

If you start thinking of all the people that have touched your life you may find that there are a few that you would conciser a hero in your life, someone who never gave up on you, who still was your friend when all was going wrong, who sees your "bad side" of you and yet still loves you. There are your family who is always there even tho you don't always treat them wright. Then there are the ones who like you for who you are and for some reason they still seek you out every moment they have, and to this I wish to tell. Once a upon a time there was a girl who had felt that no one wished to speak to, you could always find her though if you look where the silents was found. one day she started writing on a page thinking that no one would care to read. weeks went by but then one day she found someone who did read here rantings of life. He was kind and seem to really care so she wrote to him and he wrote back months went past and they both felt like that they trusted each outer dearly. it was like finding someone that fit a puzzle in your life. He became a true hero in my life, and even to this day he has made an impact in my mind. Hero someone who is always there, who never stops listening, who knows when something is wrong, and who wants to help no matter what.

Too long.... hmmm

Time is a funny thing, right when you think that you have it under control turns out you don't.
so you sit and try and find just when you lost it all. funny think is I don't remember ever really having it.
It has been a long time sense I've been here, went to Snow College for a little bit found some "friends" only to find they left with the once winter came. broke my heart really but what can I say its normal my fault for I am reserved (so my twin cousin says) but I think he is wrong, I think I'm too reserved and can't get over the fact that when ever I think I have found a true friend they flee from me as soon as I start trusting them. Witch is why I started to rely more on what I can't see or what I can't have. There are very few people who really understand what you say to them. well at least this is how I see things and truly I hope I'm wrong, but more and more people show they don't trust and with that it shows the disrespect of today society. We get stuck looking for someone who will listen and understand and yet still respect you fully. one day all the lies that people tell just to get what they want will come unveiled and they will see them selves for what they truly are.