What is next?

When you heart wants to rip in two and all seems so bleak that you'll receive the hope you so desperately wish for, what is next?

I find myself in a two different minds where all is up in the air and you don't know what is going to make the fall. When all I've been hoping for are some words. Some strength of knowing, but all I have received has been dancing around the words. Never saying them. Never truly hearing them. So I do question if they are there at all.

Realizing that I have pushed so many people away just because that is all I know how to do. Knowing that people don't try to come back after. I think that is what is hard. knowing that in the end it is my fault for pushing, for building up walls so high that no one wants to climb them for fear of what they might find inside. I know, I know I put up my barriers. and truthfully I don't expect anyone to climb my walls or even nock them down. Maybe that is the problem there that I don't expect anyone.

I make things harder then they should be because of how I see. but I don't know how to see any other way. I am willing to learn. just need someone that is good at being a shrink.

Hold On

 

Hold on, this is a journey that last a life time. don't forget to learn to love and to forgive. so hold on... let your heart lead if you can.. this life is about loving. remember to hold on to those moments that make it worth going through the hard times. hold on to the happy times, hold on to hope. make hope your home where you can go when all seems lost.

Life As A Pebble

 

We don't always remember where we came from but we all remember the splash. It could have been when we started making decisions on our own, taking charge, and we found that those decisions made ripples. Before we knew it we were sinking into the beat of life. We find ourselves sinking fast into darkness as life pulls us from trial to trial. Then it happens, we hit rock bottom, making us feel alone, accentuating the darkness around us. As time goes by life has moved on and hope springs into our hearts as light brings meaning to where we are. We begin to see that we were far from alone and we may feel insignificant, as if we are one star in the great see above, yet we start looking closer to find that other pebbles are encircled around us. You reach out to them with all your strength and find you are changing. For one can not touch another's life with out the other touching yours. We change with every pull of life we become smoother as we grow from those around us. We try to be the best we can be and in doing so we become the beauty in life it self. -By: Crystal A. Thompson

Calm Before The Storm

 

 

Finally a moment of freedom when mind and soul come together and dream of other thoughts that would not torment but calm, but how could it stay for it never stays long, like a bird it flies off with out a word. where dose the calm come from. questions that it seem are ever to ovoid the hands of comprehending. like wind in ways. or is it a storm so amazing and yet seems so far away.

Fallen State of Thorny Paths

 

I heard the voice calling me home, my heart jumped to follow but I being selfish looked the other way and left that path for selfish thoughts of momentary pleasures. what I did not relies was the further I went that the soles of my shoos where being shredded but. soon the thorns pierced my soul bleeding and with shaking hands and wounded heart I would one by one poll the thorns out only to find the poison they have lift numbing my soul with pain. I craved to be home. I wanted to be home, but found the pain of my past would keep me from home. I would cry for help. I could no longer hear the voice anymore, but yet those who loved me could still touch my hand and give me settle relief for a time. But, only I could decide to stop the poison from spreading and only one could draw the poison from me, yet, he was home, and only I could call him, yet my proud soul would not call or take the steps toward him for I had fallen. and my heart cried for my fallen state.

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